Bad Influence
by Narukashi666
Summary: A song fic based on 'Bad Influence' by P!nk. No romance at all, sadly. I'm so dissapointed. Anyway, pretty normal, some AsumaxKurenai action, little IrukaxAnko. Oneshot


**GOOOOOOOD MORNING/EVENING/AFTERNOON!!! My second story that I uploaded, YAAAY!!! My first was 'Winter song'. Hope-eth you likey! :3**

**Bad Influence**

_Alright, sir_

_Sure I'll have another one, it's early_

_Three olives, shake it up, I like it dirty_

_Tequila for my friend, it makes her flirty_

_Trust me_

"One more, please. Not yet nine, so pour us some more." Kakashi gestured to his glass and the one next to it. Asuma sighed. "Kakashi, why are you being so kind as to pay for drinks? You want something, I know you do." "I want a good time, is all. You making a fool of yourself is perfect." The silver-haired jonin said blandly, taking a gulp of whiskey. 'Damn, I love alcohol.' "Kakashi-sensei! There you are!" A blond boy ran up to him and tugged his sleeve. "Why you drinking?! Come on, we got missions!" Kakashi sighed and set down his glass. "Hold on, I gotta pay for this stuff." He said, opening his wallet. "You still have missions?! At this time of night?!" Asuma asked, gaping as his friend paid and stood. "Solos with Naruto. Just to make sure he doesn't get killed." He said with a shrug, and followed the impatient boy out.

_I'm the instigator of underwear_

_Showing up here and there_

_Uh oh_

_Oh no_

_I'm always on a mission from the get go_

_Get go_

_So what if it's only one o'clock in the afternoon_

_It's never too soon_

_To send out all the invitations_

_To the last night of_

_your life!_

After the mission, Kakashi decided to have a party, just cause he's cool like that. Yeah, he throws parties whenever he wants. Deal with it, bitches. He called all the ones he knew would come (Asuma, Kurenai, Genma, Anko, Jiraiya, Kotetsu, Izuma, and a bunch of others.), then the ones he thought might not (Iruka, Shizune, some more chunins, you know what I'm getting at.). After a second's hesitation, he called Naruto. "Wha?" He could tell the boy was eating ramen. "Naruto, yo. It's Kakashi. I made up my mind. Get your ass over here or you'll miss your first all-ninja party." He said, and grinned as Naruto whooped. "Hell yeah! Wouldn't miss it for the world! When should I be there?!" "My place, as soon as you can. Oh, and don't drink any alcohol, 'kay kiddo?" "Stop calling me that! An' I promise I won't! See ya!" "See ya." As soon as he hung up, he heard the first to arrive knocking on the door. 'Perfect. I'll set up Asuma and Kurenai, get Kotetsu and Izuma to take pictures, post 'em on the 'net...' He opened the door and grinned at the interrogator. "Yo." "Yo! Let me in, I gots ze beer!" Anko laughed, holding up three six packs. "Get in, put it down, and here comes Iruka! Didn't think he'd come... Ah, well. Oy, Dolphin-chan!" The chunin scowled but only said "Scarecrow-san, Anko-san. I got bored." Naruto arrived at that moment. " 'Ello, mate!" He said, grinning and giving all three a two-fingered salute. Before Iruka could tell him off, Anko whooped and hugged the boy. "YES! You finally let him come! I can't wait to embarrass the hell outta you, kid!" Kakashi grinned. 'Heh... I love my job...'

_Lordy, lordy, lordy_

_I can't help it, I like to party_

_It's genetic_

_It's electrifying_

_Wind me up and watch me go_

_Where she stops, nobody knows,_

_A good excuse to be a bad influence on you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_And you and you and you and you_

Everyone, except Shizune, ended up there. Jiraiya acted perverted, Genma flirted shamelessly, as did Anko, Kurenai and Asuma spent the time trying to deny they were together, Iruka drank way too much, Kotetsu and Izuma got the photos of Kurenai and Asuma making out, and everyone else pretty much cheered when they saw Naruto, who broke his promise and drank some beer. Kakashi, as always, set people up and spread rumors. That was his unofficial job; the Gossip-man. You had gossip, chances were it came from him. Yeah, he's an evil bastard. Suck it up, bitches.

_Alright, ma'am,_

_Calm down, I know your son said he was at my house_

_He was the captain of the football team, but I turned him down_

_He wasn't the first and he won't be the last_

_So tone it down_

_This happens all the time_

The next day, Kakashi had a major headache, the pictures were on facebook, Naruto was violently ill, and Iruka and Anko were found under a bush in the park. A job well done, in Kakashi's opinion. He let Naruto stay with him, since he was still a little drunk and throwing up periodically. 'Least today's a free day...' He thought, mussing the boy's sweaty yellow hair. "I told you not to drink any alcohol." He said gently, passing him an aspirin. Naruto nodded miserably and swallowed the pill. "I know. Anko was saying weird stuff, and said she could see fairies, and, well, there's lots of rumors about getting drunk." Kakashi chuckled and shook his head. "Nah. Those are all urban legends, and Anko was playing with you. When she gets drunk, she starts punching people randomly, laughing like a maniac." Both of them shivered. Naruto groaned, closed his eyes, and puked again into the bucket Kakashi had given him. The older ninja patted his back. "Don't worry. I puked up about every item of food I hadn't digested yet in the first minute or so my first time." He said cheerfully. Naruto nodded and sighed. "I'm never drinking again..." He muttered darkly.

_I'm the story they tell, the alibi_

_They wanna go home, I ask them "Why?"_

_It's daylight_

_Not night_

_They might need a break from all the real life_

_Get a life_

_It gets to be too much sometimes_

_It's never too late to send out all the invitations_

_To the last night of_

_your life!_

Asuma nearly killed Kakashi when he saw the pictures. "But I didn't take them." Kakashi said innocently as Kurenai and Naruto held him back. "It was your fuckin' party! You let those bastards bring their fuckin' camera!" Asuma snarled, his cigarette ground to a pulp. "Well, yes, I didn't take their camera, but isn't this a free country?" Kakashi asked, cocking his head slightly. "DAMN IT, I'M GONNA KILL YOU, SCARECROW!!!" The infuriated jonin bellowed, a vein in his temple throbbing threateningly. Said Scarecrow shrugged. "Yeah, but still. You were the one who got drunk enough to start making out with Kurenai-san, not me." "Asuma-sensei, can't you kill him another day?!" Naruto asked desperately, his face definitely greener. Before the man could answer, Naruto rushed to the bathroom. The sound of violent puking made the lovers blink and Kakashi sigh. "Idiot..." He muttered, walking over and making sure Naruto had made it to the toilet. He had, and was currently puking with a will, face contorted in distaste and pain, knees shaking, skin pale. Sighing, Kakashi crouched next to him. "Idiot." He repeated. Naruto nodded miserably. "I know." He muttered, and puked again.

_Lordy, lordy, lordy_

_I can't help it, I like to party_

_It's genetic_

_It's electrifying_

_Wind me up and watch me go_

_Where she stops, nobody knows_

_A good excuse to be a bad influence on you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_And you and you and you and you_

After three more hours, Naruto felt better enough to go home. Iruka and Anko were apparently now a pair, if Kurenai was to be believed. Kakashi made it his next mission to make sure of it.

_Off to see the doctor_

_I hope she has the cure_

_I hope she makes me better_

_What does that even mean?_

_We don't know!_

Unfortunately, Tsunade caught wind of his 'missions', and ordered him to come see her before starting off on any. So, when he came up with a plan to get evidence on Iruka's and Anko's relationship, he went and told her. She was silent for a long time. "...You know," She said slowly, "That might actually work. Go ahead and try it." Kakashi grinned, and practically ran home.

_Lordy, lordy, lordy_

_I can't help it, I like to party_

_It's genetic_

_It's electrifying_

_Wind me up and watch me go_

_Where she stops, nobody knows_

_A good excuse to be a bad influence on you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_And you and you and you and you_

_Lordy, lordy, lordy_

_I can't help it, I like to party_

_It's genetic_

_It's electrifying_

_Wind me up and watch me go_

_Where she stops, nobody knows_

_A good excuse to be a bad influence on you_

_And you and you and you and you_

"...No." "Ah, come on, why not?" "Did you forget what happened last time?" "Yeah, well, that was because you made a noise and Asuma heard." Kakashi waited for Naruto to say something, hoping he would. "...It'll get proof on Iruka and Anko." He wheedled. "I'm in. What do I do?" Kakashi grinned. It was just too easy to get the boy to do what he told him. "Right, well, Kotetsu and Izuma will be watching the two windows closest to the road, and we'll..."

"...I still think this is a bad idea." Naruto sighed. Kakashi glanced at him. "Ah, come on! This time it's not two jonins, it's a sex-crazed jonin and a chunin. What could go wrong?" He said cheerfully, waving at the two amateur photographers. "Well, Iruka-sensei-chan could see us, Anko-san could see us, Anko-san could tell Iruka-sensei-chan, we could get killed, any number of things." Naruto said as the four stopped and looked up at the apartment building. "...Did you scout out which window is his?" "Yep." Kotetsu said with a smirk and pointed at the third window to the left, the second floor. Naruto snorted. "Oh, come on. The second floor?! That's way too easy!" "Exactly. He obviously thought that trained ninja would never think he'd live there." "And how long did it take you to figure it out?" Asked Kakashi smoothly. "Er..." The two photographers scuffed their feet and glanced at each other. "...Three days." Izuma sighed, hanging his head. "Hey! We swore not to tell!" Kotetsu cried, slapping the back of his head. "Thanks for being honest. Now, let's get snoopin'." Naruto said, grinning as he cracked his knuckles, his eyes fixed on the window. Kakashi grinned. 'Yep. I love my job.'

"...Kakashi... Why are we here?" Kakashi looked down at Naruto, who was hanging by his wrists from cuffs hooked to the wall. He would have laughed if he weren't in the same predicament. "We took pictures of Anko and Iruka making out." He said. "Okay..." The boy turned to look straight ahead. "...Why are we in this cell across from the weird people?" "Anko hates us." Kakashi said simply. "Oh. Okay." They were silent for a while.

"...Kakashi?"

"Yeah?"

"Remind me to kill you when she lets us down."

"I'll do that."

_And you and you and you and you_

_(I'm a good excuse)_

_And you and you and you and you_

_(To be a bad influence)_

_And you and you and you and you_

_(On you and you and you)_


End file.
